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[10 Aug 2006|12:07am] |
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I wanna paint my face
and pretend that I am someone else.
Sometimes I get so fed up
I don’t even wanna look at myself.
But people have problems that are worse than mine
I don’t want you to think I’m complainin’ all the time.
And I hate the way you look at me
I have to say
I wish I could start over
I am slowly falling apart
I wish you’d take a walk in my shoes for a start.
And you’ll might think it’s easy being me
You just stand still, look pretty.
Sometimes I find myself shakin in the middle of the night.
And then it hits me and I can’t even believe this is my life.
But people have problems that are worse than mine.
I don’t want you to think I’m complainin’ all the time
And I wish that everyone would shut their mouth
I’m not strong enough to deal with this.
I am slowly falling apart
I wish you’d take a walk in my shoes for a start.
And you’ll might think it’s easy being me
You just stand still, look pretty.
I am slowly falling apart
I wish you’d take a walk in my shoes for a start.
And you’ll might think it’s easy being me
You just stand still, look pretty.
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| Disappointed |
[21 Jul 2006|11:23am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 disappointed |
] |
We all make mistakes. We make choices just as much as mistakes. Unfortunately, not all of us are mature enough to take the blame for our own mistakes and choices.
To each their own. In the end.. You can't simply put the blame on any ONE person. When it comes down to it.. Each and every person involved is just as guilty as the next. It's called guilty by association.
I hope you all have learned..
And realized that you may have thought you had nothing to lose at the time.
But wake up... you have everything to lose.
I'm simply disappointed.
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| 130 |
[24 Jun 2006|02:23am] |
SUPPOSEDLY if you've seen over 71 movies, you have no life. Mark the ones you've seen. There are 189 movies on this list. Put your score in header and repost
(x) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
( ) Boondock Saints
( ) The Mexican
(x) Fight Club
(x) Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story
( ) Blazing Saddles
( ) Airplane
Total: 6
(x) The Princess Bride
(x) Young Frankenstien
(x) Anchorman:The Legend of Ron Burgandy
(x) Napoleon Dynamite
(x) Labyrinth
(x) Saw
( ) Saw II
(x) White Noise
( ) White Oleander
(x) Anger Management
(x) 50 First Dates
(x) Jason X
Total: 10
(x) Scream
(x) Scream 2
(x) Scream 3
(x) Scary Movie
(x) Scary Movie 2
(x) Scary Movie 3
(x) American Pie
(x) American Pie 2
(x) American Wedding
( ) American Pie Presents Band Camp
Total: 9
(x) Harry Potter
( ) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
( ) Harry Potter 4
(x) Resident Evil I
(x) Resident Evil 2
(x) The Wedding Singer
( ) Little Black Book
(x) The Village
( ) Donnie Darko
( ) Lilo & Stitch.
( ) Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch has a Glitch
Total: 8
(x) Finding Nemo
(x) Finding Neverland
(x) Signs
(x) The Grinch (jim carrey)
(x) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
(x) White Chicks
(x) Butterfly Effect
(x) Thirteen Going on 30
(x) I, Robot
Total: 9
(x) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
( ) Universal Soldier
( ) A Series Of Unfortunate Events
(x) Along Came Polly
( ) Deep Impact
( ) KingPin
(x) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
(x) Meet the Fockers
( ) Eight Crazy Nights
(x) Joe Dirt
Total: 6
(x) A Cinderella Story
(x) The Terminal
( ) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
(x) Dumb & Dumberer
(x) Final Destination
(x) Final Destination 2
(x) Final destination 3
(x) Halloween
(x) The Ring
(x) The Ring 2
Total: 10
(x) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
( ) Practical Magic
( ) Chicago
( ) Ghost Ship
(x) From Hell
(x) Hellboy
(x) Secret Window
(x) I Am Sam
( ) The Whole Nine Yards
Total: 5
(x) The Day After Tomorrow
(x) Child's Play
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
(x) Just Married
(x) Gothika
(x) Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles
(x) Remember the Titans
(x) Coach Carter
(x) Bad Boys
Total: 10
(x) Bad Boys 2
(x) Joy Ride
( ) Se7en
( ) Ocean's Eleven
( ) Ocean's Twelve
( ) Identity
( ) Lone Star
(x) Bedazzled
(x) Predator I
(x) Predator II
TOTAL: 5
(x) Independence Day
( ) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
(x) Darkness Falls
( ) Christine
(x) ET
( ) Children of the Corn
( ) My Boss' daughter
( ) Maid in Manhattan
( ) Frailty
Total: 3
( ) Best Bet
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
( ) She's All That
(x) Calendar Girls
( ) Sideways
(x) Mars Attacks
( ) Event Horizon
(x) Ever After
(x) Forrest Gump
( ) Big Trouble in Little China
Total: 5
(x) X-men
(x) X-men2
(x) Spider-Man
(x) SPIDER MAN 2
( ) Sky High
(x) Jeepers Creepers
( ) Jeepers Creepers 2
( ) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Others
(x) Freaky Friday
(x) Reign of Fire
(x) Cruel Intentions
(x) Cruel Intentions 2
Total: 10
(x) Swimfan
(x) Miracle
(x) Old School
(x) The Notebook
(x) K-Pax
(x) Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
(x) A Walk to Remember
(x) Boogeyman
Total: 10
(x) Hitch
( ) The Fifth Element
(x) Star Wars Episode I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars Episode II Attack of The Clones
(x) Star Wars Episode III Revenge of The Sith
(x) Star Wars Episode IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars Episode V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Episode VI Return of The Jedi
( ) Troop Beverly Hills
( ) Swimming with Sharks
Total: 7
(x) Air Force One
(x) For Richer or Poorer
( ) Trainspotting
( ) People Under the Stairs
( ) Blue Velvet
(x) Sound of Music
(x) Parent Trap
(x) Parent Trap Re-make
( ) The Birds
(x) The Terminator
(x) Terminator-2
(x) T-3
Total: 8
( ) Empire Records
( ) SLC Punk
(x) Meet Joe Black
(x) Nightmare Before Christmas
(x) The Silence of the Lambs
(x) Sleepy Hollow
(x) I Heart Huckabees
( ) 24 Hour Party People
( ) Blood In Blood Out
Total: 5
( ) Thirteen
( ) Manic
( ) American History X
(x) Deep Blue Sea
(x) George of the Jungle
( ) Canadian Bacon
( ) Big Black Titties
(x) How High
( ) The Jackel
(x) My Little Ponys Grand Adventure
Total: 4
*********************
I already knew I have no life.. besides, what else are you supposed to do when you're bored? Hmm?
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| To wake and be happy again |
[29 May 2006|09:54pm] |
| [ |
music |
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Grandaddy - Underneath the Weeping Willow |
] |
he loves me....
love is brighter than sunshine
this love is a different love
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[23 May 2006|11:08pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 blank |
] |
| [ |
music |
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sister's music...sad.. |
] |
Everything comes to an end eventually... and the end has come for my fiasco with Richard. He never knew exactly how I felt.. I never knew exactly how he felt.. But, for some reason, I feel it's better this way.. a part of me died on Sunday when he told me about him and *her*.... But, that was to be expected eventually.
No regrets, right?
Maybe some.. but only a few..
I'm glad TJ walked back into my life two months ago. And I'm glad he asked me out on a date Sunday. And I'm glad about the decision I made.. it just still hurts that I have to feel betrayed by Richard, who I considered a great friend and at one point even more....
Sometimes.. I think he was using me. Like TJ said.. but only to an extent.
And I think Richard's wrong about TJ. I just wish Richard would grow up, zip up his pants, and use his brain and heart instead of his penis and libido.
Life will go on.. and everything will fall back into place in time. Maybe I will be lucky enough to fall in love with TJ again. I still love him, not like I did.. But, obviously enough to be willing to go on a date, lol.
And to all you haters out there.. It's my life.
End.
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| what you know about that? |
[14 Mar 2006|09:59am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 so so |
] |
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music |
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Chamillionare - Ridin' |
] |
So life's getting a little harder, but better too.. don't wanna bore you with a long entry.. so cliff notes.
After the car accident (both, haha).. I'm now officially $2000 in debt. The first one I pay a $500 deductible.. the secondd.. is $900.. and I still have my credit card bill and my mom to pay off.
TJ and I talked two weeks ago on the phone, went to dinner last week, and tonight I'm calling to just chit chat.
Richard's still only calling me whenever the fuck it's convenient for him. But last night I sent him a text that read "I'm tired of waiting for your call.. and being a once a week girl. Will you prove me wrong?". Let's see how that goes.
Took my car to the shop today. Should be done by next Tuesday.
I'm still kind of icky at school, that's going to take a lot of work.
I got in a HUGE fight with Bryan last night. Fuck it.
I'm pretty sure my life is going to continue on like a soap opera for awhile.. anyone interested in writing a screenplay?
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[24 Feb 2006|10:24pm] |
| [ |
music |
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Fort Minor - Where'd You Go |
] |
I miss him..
I'm trying so hard to.. But I still miss him.
I just wish.. a lot of things that hadn't happened happened.. and some of the things that did.. didn't.
I miss him more than TJ. And that says a lot. =\
I find myself just filling my time
With anything to keep the thought of you from my mind
I'm doing fine and I'm plannin' to keep it that way
You can call me if you find that you have something to say
And I'll tell you
I want you to know its a little fucked up that
I'm stuck here waiting, at times debating
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[20 Feb 2006|11:25am] |
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Fuck it.
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[15 Feb 2006|05:10pm] |
I keep getting sick. It's annoying.
The End.
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[14 Feb 2006|09:44pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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confident |
] |
| [ |
music |
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En Vogue - Don't Let Go |
] |
Hey, guess what everyone.
I know you're all probably VERY tired of hearing me whine, complain, bitch, etc.... WELLLLLLL..... Be prepared for me not to whine, complain, bitch, etc.
My life is gonna get shaken up and gosh darnit.. I'm gonna make all the pieces land right the first try.. It's just gonna take awhile, so I might become a recluse. =X
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[13 Feb 2006|11:26am] |
GIT R DONE. LMAO.
Well, I told him. And.. heh. Well, results weren't what I was hoping.. He told me awhile ago he had feelings for me. But then, last night... turned around and fed me some shit about how we've been friends for a long time and that he doesn't have feelings like that... but that he'll always be here for me....3 times.
What
the
fuck.
*sigh* oh well.
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[09 Feb 2006|10:21pm] |
I actually went to B&N tonight and bought 2 self help/improvement books. One on improving time mgmt. The other on improving organization. Haha.
I'm a loser.
I happy loser.
But a loser nonetheless.
P.S. - Hell or high water Jessica's going to do what she's needed to do for the past 7 years this weekend. Wish me luck?
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[05 Feb 2006|10:04am] |
| [ |
mood |
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sad |
] |
| [ |
music |
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School Of Rock |
] |
Seeing as how we haven't talked in a month... I'm taking the hint. I know we've seen a little of each other inbetween and talked for like.. a minute or two. BUT, I think.. I'ma take the hint.
Sad thing is... I was ready to tell *HIM* how I felt.
I'll be waiting for him to come around.
But, at the same time, maybe i should just call, voicemail or not and tell him I have feeling for him and that I just wanted to let him know that?
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[02 Feb 2006|11:12pm] |
So tired... of everything..
I really know why people kill themselves now.
No, I'm not going to kill myself.
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[01 Feb 2006|08:11am] |
So I won't be talking to *HIS* brother for a few days. We got into the other night, he said some stuff that pissed me off, and I think it's the perfect opportunity to fade away, somewhat in hopes that *HE* will talk to me again/more.
So the plan was to text *HIM* this: "I hope I didn't piss you off or something.. and if it's because ur bro's been callin me.. u have nothing to worry about. just plz lemme know what's going on." WELL, I decided to be ballsy and call him last night. After him having not returned my calls at all this month, it was a BIG leap. So I called and PRAYED for his voicemail. Well, of course, the one time he has to answer was last night!!!!!
So this was the convo:
HIM: Hello?
ME: Hey.. What's up?
HIM: I'm fixing to go to (so and so)'s house and then (so and so)'s house.
ME: Ah, busy man.
HIM: Yeah, you?
ME: Trying to avoid my household.
(at this point my phone was freaking out)
HIM: Hey?
ME: Hello?
HIM: Hey, Can I call you back later?
ME: Are you actually going to call me back later this time?
.-Disconnect-.
SO.. he didn't call back last night, not surprising. Probably won't call tonight.. or tomorrow night.. MAYBE this weekend (if I'm lucky hehe). But, still... I'm actually now debating if I want to just go ahead and text him that message.
*shrug* I guess at this point.... I'm not really distracting myself with *him* in my constant thought.
Oh.. cute thing.. I could hear the hidden excitement in his voice. Like.. when he calls me.. I could be bouncing up and down and running around.. and I'm still all mellow sounding.. well.. that's how he sounded last night.. like he was glad he'd picked up.. but didn't want me to know it.
Anyway, I'm out. Tired, and hungry. I'ma get McDonald's before school. >.
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[27 Jan 2006|08:02am] |
Out of nowhere.. *HIS* brother said "You two just need to hook up already, damn. It'd do you both good." and then proceeded to say these things and other things about stuff.
Oh my gawd.
Grawr!
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[25 Jan 2006|10:02pm] |
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music |
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T-Pain - I'm N Luv |
] |
Hmm.. I went and saw Underworld Evolution today with Bryan. It was actually really nice to get out. Richard was supposed to go with us, but heh.. yeah, no. Umm.. So we went in Books A million and then went down to Petland.. it was pretty cool. Then off to the movie... that was quite a bit better than I thought it'd be.
Next up we're planning to see Brokeback Mountain. He already saw it, but that's ok.
I miss *HIM*. But.. I'm not calling him.. even if it kills me, lol.
Okie.. I'm out.
First night I'm going to bed before 4am. Damn college.
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[20 Jan 2006|08:30am] |
Would have been 2 years today....
*sigh*
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[19 Jan 2006|08:46pm] |
Tomorrow.. I'm not looking forward to it.
And Saturday is Rachel's 21st Birthday. We're going to a cabin hehe.
And my boy problems have become bigger. POOP.
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[19 Jan 2006|08:22am] |
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And the depression is slowly creeping in.............
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